“Are you happy?” One of my good friends
asked me this question when we were having gathering with the high school
friends last week. It’s good to catch up with a bunch of school friends sharing
our high school memories and laughing over at our crazy yet childish act when
we were immature. I answered: “Sort of, yup. I am fine and happy.” Before I
answered the question, I started to rapidly flash back of what’s been happening
these days: money is good, relationship with friends and families is good,
study is good, and so, I am happy. This simple question transported me to the
past and back to where I am now.
When I was young, happiness was simple and
we were easy to get satisfied. We could be happy for a lollipop for 3 days, or
being excited to go to the roller coaster ride for even a week! Not to mention
those trips to playground during evening time and ice-cream! But now, after I
have grown up, things changed. We demand more, so much more as compared to what
makes us happy when we were young. And so, the happiness factor is no longer on
the surface of the matter.
There are studies shown that a happy
individual tends to be more successful across multiple life domains, such as
marriage, friendships, income, work performance and health (Lyubomirsky, King
& Diener, 2005). It is not merely because success brings us happiness, but
indeed our positive affect engenders success. The related positive affect
includes confidence, optimism, sociability, self-esteem and effective coping
with stress and negative influences. Positive moods and emotion lead us to
think, feel and act in the way that we can encounter every circumstances as
desirable. It also prepares us to seek out for new challenges and undertake new
goals.
I have learnt to accept myself, in order to
stay happy. To turn things around, I first made peace to my situation. Forget
about the blames. Forget about the guilt, and forget about the “what ifs”. To
me, acceptance isn’t about giving up, but it actually means this is part of my
journey, and this is where I am, and now I will move on to what I want.
Progress has so much dependent on your acceptance. The earlier you accept your
current situation, the faster you can get rid of it.
Positive feelings about a person or an
object get us to approach to it, while negative feelings get us to avoid from
it. The delicious odor of the fresh baked cupcakes pulls us towards the oven,
while the repulsive smell of the vomit pushes us away to the other side of the
sidewalk. Since you know that your natural reaction will be to walk away from
it, why not your negative thoughts? Find one thing to be happy about and you
will break the sad cycle and soon you will feel better.
I hope that my happiness has helped you get
from where you were to where you want to be. Hereby, I wish you lots of success
and happiness, and SMILE!
Reference
Lyubomirsky, S., King, L. and Diener, E.
(2005) The Benefits of Frequent Positive Affect: Does happiness Lead to
Success. Psychological Bulletin. V.131(6), pp.803-855.
By: Yau Che Yan, BAF1541
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